Effexor Update

Oh ya, and Effexor withdrawl is, for the most part, over. Sorry I sucked so bad at keeping up on that.

I suck….Effexor update

I’m sucking at keeping up with this….what’s new. Basically, this has turned into an annoying thing that I can set my watch by. I’m tired all day which I can usually deal with. Then at 3:00-3:30 in the afternoon it all hits. I begin feeling naseated, dizzy, passout tired, brain shocks start, and I can’t really concentrate on anything. It lasts anywhere from 4-6 hours and then I’m fine again. It wouldn’t be so bad if the evening wasn’t when I spend time with the family and do homework. I tend to devote the morning to myself and any computer work that needs done. Basically, I’ve turned into a couch whore. Tony has been great through this all. He has helped whenever he can tell I really am having problems. I just hope this all goes away a lot faster than I’ve read.

Effexor XR withdrawal

Due to my recent discoveries on the hideousness of Effexor XR withdrawal, I decided to keep a log of how my withdrawal was going and how long it took to get over it. I stopped taking Effexor on Friday, March 23. Saturday wasn’t too bad. Some occational shocks here and there and I was rather tired but really nothing horrible. Sunday morning was ok, I was excited because it seemed withdrawal this time wasn’t going to be a furocious as the time I had forgotten to take my meds for two days when I was on 175 mg. This time I had went down to 37.5 mg over a 3 month period and I thought it would make withdrawal easier to deal with. By Sunday afternoon I was well aware of my mistaken relief as I was knocked unconscious on the couch for a nap only to wake up disoriented and dizzy. I would be shocked throughout the rest of the day and would never really regain my strength. I was very shakey and tired and just felt like shit. Today hasn’t been any better. It is basically a re-run of yesterday but today I had to go to work. Ya, that has been a joy. Concentration level is at ZERO….possibly even negative numbers. OK, that is my update for the day. Stay tuned tomorrow for as the Effexor sucks. Same time, same channel….ok, probably not the same time….but same channel anyway.

Horrible weekend…

So, Saturday I spent the day feeling like crap trying to figure out what in the world could have caused this lethargy and odd brain sensation. I wanted to say I had the flu but last time I checked, the flu did not involve my brain feeling like it was startled every time I moved. Last time I checked the flu continued making you feel like crap even when laying down. So I knew it couldn’t be the flu but, for the life of me, I couldn’t figure it out. So finally on Sunday when I couldn’t take much more I started doing research online and realized that it wasn’t the flu at all. I was experiencing withdrawl from my Effexor!! I had forgotten to take it for the two days prior and withdrawl had begun. Luckily, I had already taken it that morning and within an hour my shocking sensations were almost gone.

Then….

My laptop had decided it was time to start blue-screening. No matter how I started it up, it would blue-screen. So I tried to figure out what to do. In my lovely, still feeling sick and confused state, I decided to put in the recovery disks. Thinking I might have a way to stop it from actually formatting the drive I told it to continue into the program to recover the computer. Needless to say, I was wrong. There was no option farther on to stop the formatting process and now I have lost everything that was on this machine. All our mp3′s are gone. All my stuff is gone….including the flash X-mas presents I was making….the ones I had spent nearly 48 hours working on…..I cried…..it sucks…..I’m still in mourning.

Uhhhh……

I feel so braindead since I’ve been taking Effexor. I think I would rather be braindead than to feel the way I had been feeling though. It is just kind of annoying that I can’t seem to get anything out of my head. I don’t know what to say or how to say it. I lose track of thoughts so quickly and they get lost in my head. They all feel like they are bouncing around in there not making any sense or sticking around the oral center long enough to escape through my mouth. I always feel like there was something I was going to talk about or do and I can never figure out what it was.

Then I have this overwhelming nagging in my head to write something deep and profound. I want to be a creative genius but I have no medium in which to express myself. Poetry just doesn’t seem to do it for me anymore. I never was fond of my paintings and drawing is totally something that comes and goes. I feel so self-defeating.

Oh ya, I cut my hair……

And so it goes…

I finally went to the doctor on Friday because I was tired of wanting to sleep all the time. She decided I was right about having depression but suggested some blood work be done just to be sure to rule out any physical problems. I will hear about the results sometime this week. In the meantime she put me on Effexor. Right away I noticed an energy boost. I am able to stay up all day long (often until late into the night) and actually get things done. That makes me feel better about life. I’ve been feeling pretty good in general for the past few days. Now today I’m back down. I just feel like I don’t belong here. I feel like I’m supposed to be somewhere else. It’s this weird longing feeling I get whenever I see pictures of big cities or California. I’m sure if Tony is reading this he is laughing his butt off right now. He finds it hilarious that I fell in love with California when we visited last September. It is just so different than here. It is so beautiful and calming. I don’t understand why he thinks it is so funny but then again he doesn’t understand why I find some things so funny either.

I just don’t feel right. I feel like I’m missing out on something. I hate this feeling. I’m ready to crawl out of my skin.