Conversation With Jon

For some reason I stayed up a little longer last night. I happened to turn on my ICQ and saw Jon online. I realized he was up later than usual so I messaged him expecting it to be like every other message I have sent him in the past, unanswered. He messaged me back. I hit the floor. We had to move the conversation over to Yahoo because ICQ was being stupid (big surprise). Thank god for repoman. He was online also and talked to me through my whole conversation with Jon. Without realizing it he was keeping me from going over the deep end and having a complete psychotic episode. A breakdown did occur but a conclusion was also formed. I finally feel better and I hope I actually do. I hope its not me trying to trick myself into believing that I do. I think I can close the chapter. I hope I can. I do feel better this morning. I have more energy than usual. My chest doesn’t feel as heavy.

It’s going to be a good day.

Ooo ooo ooo!!!!

I remembered part of my dream from last night. Oh, it makes me smile just to think about it. I was in a bar (doing karaoke most likely) and I was there with a couple of my friends. Jon comes up behind me and gives me a little hug and when I went to look up at him he kissed me. I proceeded to rip him a new one. And he was all wondering if I was still mad at him. So in answer to his question I punched him in the face three times and he decided that meant I still was. He went to leave and his wife was there with him too and she was going to try to start a fight with me. I told her to bring it on but to expect to get her ass kicked because there was no way my friends were going to stand back and not do anything. Jon decided that was the cue to escort her and the children out of the bar. *big ole grin* I want dreams like that more often.

Finally

After over a year since his disappearance I finally get a word from Michael’s father….and this is what he had to say….

i’m sorry Sue I wish that i could explain but i would never know where to begin he is looking great and you have done a fine job with him….I wish that i could give you the answers that you want but sometimes i wish i knew them myself. Believe me if you wish to or not…i can not make you. But please believe that i am sorry and thank you for the card i enjoyed seeing it. I’m sorry that it has taken me this long to work up the courage to answer anything that you have sent. and i’m sorry things happened the way they did… Jon

Oh my god, what is with tonight?? He actually left that on my guest book on my website on 10/30 but I just now noticed it. I think I’m in shock. I can’t think right now.