Stressing

Maximum stress overdrive has been hit. This time tomorrow I will be sitting in a hotel room in Topeka, Kansas. I will be awaiting my big interview and presentation, the outcome of which could change the life of our family. No pressure…no, none at all… Yes, it has finally arrived. The thing I have been waiting for for nearly 5 years. I am finally interviewing for an Instructional Designer job. It is for Washburn University. I have high hopes and thoroughly believe in my talents but, of course, that could result in some huge ego crushing if I do not get the position. I am one of 3 finalists who are being invited to campus for this big interview. I am completely freaking out!

Busy, busy, busy, busy….

Ya, that about sums it up.

A la Peanut Butter Sandwiches!!

I can feel it coming. It sounds like a freight train heading directly for me and I’m tied to the tracks. Maybe that is a little to dramatic…..I mean, it isn’t like what is happening is gonna kill me. Hmmm….Basically, what I’m trying to say here is, I’m about to get hit by the shit-ton of stuff I’m supposed to be doing this fall. I have been hired to do a huge project, I’m still working on stuff for my sister, I’ll be starting my internship and two classes next week, I’m still working part time, and I’m still in charge of all the housecrap. I have a strange feeling I’m going to be a bit worn out by the end of this. But I will also have a lot of new, much-needed experiece. Ok, enough procrastinating, back to work….

This entry was brought to you today by the letters “F” “U” “C” and “K” and the number “666.”

It sucks.

I feel an impending cloud of doom gathering over my head. I feel the weight of the world pushing harder on my shoulders. I have no idea what is causing this feeling of despair but I don’t like it. Not one bit! I find myself sitting and sulking for no apparant reason other than to sulk. Maybe it is the ominous feeling of deadlines sneaking up on me, I don’t know. All I know is it sucks, IT SUCKS I TELL YOU!!

I’m in a very strange mood too, if you can’t tell. I wore makeup today. *gasp* I now remember why I wear this crap as little as possible. Yes, I look good but I feel like I’m trapped under a layer of cement in this hot, humid weather. Nothing like feeling like your skin is suffocating. It isn’t even like I wear a lot of this stuff but I guess the kind of base I have must be very heavy. *shrugs* I don’t think it is worth my time.

Stress

Things are going very well but I am really starting to stress out over this home loan now. We had our appraiser here today so now we are just waiting to see what she comes up with for a number. Tony isn’t nervous but I am terrified. I just want this so much…

Tony’s job is going extremely well as of late. I just hope he can keep up with the stress and the pressure. I am doing ok with the idea of him putting in extra hours. Since we have been getting along it isn’t such a big deal as long as he continues to try and pay attention to me too.

Michael goes back to school next week. I go back the week after that. And Bailey starts the week after that. The rest of this month is going to be a bit hectic. Need to fall back into a routine and then everything will be ok.

With any luck by the end of this month everyone will be feeling good about school, money, home improvements, and job situations.

Chill out…

Anyone have any suggestions as to how I may accomplish this in all aspects of my life? Oh wait, no one reads this except my husband who already has told me he doesn’t know….Shit! I really just need to chill out and quit worrying about everything. I would be much happier in life.

It’s eating you up inside…

That is such an odd phrase and although I’ve often used it in reference to how I feel I really didn’t get it until recently. I do not remember ever feeling like my insides are being devoured by each other before. My frustration and anger seems to be literally consuming me suddenly. It is driving me nuts and I hate this feeling. I really don’t know what to do about it.

On another note, how do you tell when you have past the point of being patient and now are just smashing your head into a brick wall for the fun of it?