Trust

I don’t know why it is so important that Tony acknowledges he trusts me…maybe its because I don’t think he EVER has. And now it is more important than ever that he does…but he doesn’t. I have no reason to trust him…he acknowledges that and thoroughly doesn’t understand why I still continue to trust him. Which leads to the problem…Tony projects things on me…so he is projecting his mistrust of himself into being a mistrust of me. Now, I can rationalize this out until the cows come home…but it still doesn’t seem to make a difference to my emotions. It hurts to know he doesn’t trust me. I automatically think I have done something to deserve this. And since I have a rather shady past and a guilty conscience, I have a hard time convincing myself I haven’t done anything to deserve mistrust.

Moral of the story…ok, maybe not the moral…ummmm, the point I’m trying to make…I just want Tony to tell me, “Hey, I trust your judgment. I know you will do what’s best.” That is ALL I want from him…ok, that and a divorce.

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