It’s been a rough week. I’m always struggling with my body acceptance. My motherhood issues are usually near the surface. But today I just felt like I was being a brat and couldn’t stop it.
First I got really upset because I cleaned up dog vomit on the kitchen floor. When I was done my stepdaughter wiped the area with a Clorox wipe and my husband thanked her. I felt like I was bad because I didn’t do that. Apparently that is something he likes to have done but I’ve not been told that so that triggered me being upset that he doesn’t tell me things.
I had a melt down.
After that was resolved, my husband and I went shopping. We were doing really well (having fun even) until we went to check out at the 3rd store. He was in line. I wandered a little ways away to look at some shirts. I turn around a minute later to see him walking away.
I was so mad.
All he had to do was say my name a little louder than normal or walk over to me and let me know what he was doing. Instead he sent me a text. Since I use Google Voice texts don’t arrive to me immediately so I didn’t get it as soon as he sent it. I didn’t get it until I had already texted him and started getting pissed.
He didn’t seem to understand why I was so upset. That made me even more upset. BLEH! So we went home before going to the final store (the grocery store).
I was so mad and felt like I was being such a brat…which made me more mad. So then I grabbed one of the bags that he was going to carry in before he could and I guess that pissed him off (but I didn’t find out about that fact until several hours later).
After about 30 minutes (and getting kids lunches), I asked if he was going with me to the grocery store. He said he didn’t feel like it and I got upset again. He almost always comes with me to the grocery store when he can. I felt rejected and like a brat for getting upset yet again.
There were no more events the rest of the day but I didn’t talk to him any more than necessary which made me feel like a brat too.
We finally worked on resolving things at bedtime but I felt like a brat then too because I’m always mad and he’s always feeling bad. BLEH!
Why can’t I be more laid back?
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